Looking back

 I'm too high-strung for my own good. Even my psychological assessment made proof of that. In relation to that floppy introduction, I'm quite desperate in getting back to writing because let's face it, it's one of the best catharsis in this universe. I recall having a jolly good laugh at our Clinte class on how impassioned our personal histories came about, which our prof quite understood mostly because work plus post grad studies were an intoxicating mix.

I got to check my Writing folder and prioritized some WIPs. Out of all of them, I'm quite eager to get back to my collaborative fic with marley_station (no promise though, sorry! >_<), a Shika/Neji fic which has been paused since early this year. Admittedly, my passion for Naruto has died along Bleach but I still hold a tiny flame for my OTPs in those fandoms; they got me out of limbo back then, after all. Heaven knows I can't write something decent in this house because there's too many people and I value silence like whoa. I'm still planning where I can get some creative juices brewing (the mall and coffee shops are not my thing). I once thought of going back to longhand writing; I did during my initial years in college then I got my laptop and it all went down the drain. The lack of internet is also a helpful one because my attention span is worse than a ADHD's especially when I get email notifications. Too many external factors. /o\

On another thought, I quite like the idea of kinkme_merlin. If I get my guts up and running, I would love to settle for a prompt. I have tons of prompts mind you, but at this point I don't see any beauty in taking up my own ideas.

If anyone stumbles on this post, what is your personal 'conducive for writing' setting is?

I just got tired of reading too many Merlin fics. I want some respite for my eyes lol.

Merry Christmas, btw! \o/


Cross-posted this from my LJ so don't bother if you already read it there.

Just done

It's nothing pleasurable but I kind of missed this post-project exhaustion because it might be a tiredness but it's tinged with pleasure for at least a job done. I've scheduled three days starting today to be be each devoted to a project to finish. So far, at least I was able to finish a first draft for my case study in Psychopathology. I'm a bit more satisfied since I think I did a better job than planned. I can at least review this by Monday. Thank you, Dr. Della for using the wonders of technology for I shall not have to go to school to pass a hardcopy. Unfortunately for ClinTe, I have to pass it typewritten and before 1700H. /o\ I got a meeting that day and I had to beg my boss to start the meeting an hour earlier so I can fly off to school on time. Good thing boss is pretty understanding.

Speaking of work, assessment report is finally approved from the top which means we can proceed with the item pooling aside from the SOP revision. Had a brief chat with the boss asking him that if we can outsource the development of the abstract subtest, why not the remaining other 2 then? To which he actually had a underhanded strategy for that. Forgot to mention that to boss #2 though.

Anyway, I may have thought of re-scheduling the Christmas trip with my friends this Sunday but I let it be. One last fun before the submission of projects and exam.

---

I did wake up for the Real Madrid match earlier but decided to doze off since my body was lead-heavy. It's a damn unfortunate thing though since the match was good and I really want to see a canterano play. And dammit, I doubt I can watch RM's next game since that's my ultimate rest after the Christmas date with my friends. I'll be knackered to the ground to even set up my laptop, I guess. I'll anticipate the match against Sevilla as the nearest apt sched for me.

I'm down to a single post monthly. FML.

Numb

The match was humiliating and frustrating. I could not find a decent stream from the start of the match but it didn't leave my senses assuming from the tweets and comments in my timelines. It was disappointing that from the 25 matches we've won for this season, all of the team's confidence suddenly went out just like that. Hana said we have a Barca Complex--that El Clasico, despite our insistence, is not just another game every season. It's a big one. Real Madrid's pride is partially built on our reputation of outsmarting Barcelona based from the statistics of CL and La Liga trophies alone. But these are all in the past and we've yet to accomplish a final product for all the hardship and discipline we have. I hate that pundits are judging our team and our players by their individual mistakes. Xabi and Sergio's scripted red cards, Sergio's outburst. It's not something my ethics would condone but I know that sometimes it's inevitable and sometimes, you can't win without doing a backflip of a strategy. Wars were never won with a peaceful battle, after all. I could mostly understand the frustration from Sergio's behaviour, who wouldn't react in a similar fashion when you're cornered and unable to fight back.

A coward's way but I'm partially glad that I could not properly watch El Clasico. My emotions run high for ever Real Madrid game and I don't think I would be this calm if I were able to finish the match. It's a boon the team's next game is still far off. It would be a good move to let the prayers cool off for a day then re-group again. I'm sure Mourinho's got enough strategy to get the boys up and running again. He knows how important  El Clasico is, after all.

Why can't I find my Puyol-Raul embrace? Sigh.

Pointless update

Seeing as I had failed to participate in a reunion-like party last year with my college mates, this year sang a different tune. Beth, Zena and I went along after a gruelling wait at Megamall for Chiko, Margz and Yen's shopping spree. It grated on my patience that the meet-up time was one hour fucking late. The videoke bar at Home Depot had good rooms but quite trashy food and song listing. Red Box still rules the videoke scene around the metro. Actually, it isn't much of a reunion but more of a meet up of a big gang with only 12 of us there. I hogged the mic like crazy resulting to an abused larynx and tired body. It was worth it though. Worth seeing folks I haven't seen since graduation which was three years ago and knowing the latest from them. Cors' flying back to Dubai by Wednesday; I'm going to miss her like crazy but our daily chats I doubt will fade despite the distance. Loved the Papelmeroti pocket planner.

Anyway, school's starting to build its own stress factor with my reporting scheduled practically weekly for my two subjects. Nothing too hard though of course, the lessons are building up. Clinte's not particularly a good subject at the moment. I still got no client to interview and I've no idea whom I can invite.

Grasping, gasping

It's just about three months before 2010 ends but I still end up buying another mini planner for the year. Those pocket-sized planners for Papemelrotti have served their purpose since my college days. I had failed to look for one a few months back so I got stuck with the Book of Days--another planner only with with the dates and not days. It's quite taxing to place my activities without having a single view of each month and since I'm now mixing work with school, I opted to buy another one. 2011 Moleskin planners are out; quite interested in them but from the compact, quite thick detail of it I'm not even sure I should spare bucks for that. Last time I bought a page-per-day planner I had used just one page and now collecting an inch of dust in my cabinet.

A last minute agreement with Mannel and Hannah had us meeting up at the mall this early evening for Mannel's birthday dinner treat and high school news. Had a great time chatting up with them and our deranged batchmates. Seriously, practically everyone from my HS batch are either with child or went into a late identity crisis. Napoli Pizzeria is still as disappointing as ever; I'm quite guilty of not deflecting Mannel's recommendation because my hunger pangs would agree to anything edible. As for Olay's wedding, it came such a big surprise to see my name high up on the invitation; and here I thought I would merely be a sightseer. For one, I've never liked ceremonies of any kind and I don't think I've ever been to a decent wedding for more than two decades of my life. And I'd rather not start now, isn't it? There's also the chance of me having remedial classes on that date (just two weeks from now, jfc) and it's not something easily skipped. We took a last ditch effort to check for a wedding gift, duplication of the item be damned, and settled for a midget ricecooker that's decent enough for a starting family.

Anyway, work's still the same. My contract will end by the 31st and I'm quite sure I'd be extended to the year's end. I won't have much say on accepting it because I will for my savings. Heaven knows how much uni will price for next term's assessment with all the bullshit related miscellaneous. I'm stuck on how to present the survey on the proposal paper though. Quite complicated since each category has both essay and multiple choices. I'll have to device of something effective by tomorrow or I'll be doomed with my own deadline on the 8th. Dang.

Xmarks formerly known as Foxmarks is shutting down or rather, turning into a capitalist state where one has to pay $10 yearly for their services. Needless to say, tons of people are having their big 'no' on this including me who barely can allocate spare change to have my LJ upgraded into a paid account (just for the purpose of more icons). I've turned towards Firefox Sync which is pretty decent except that it won't have any online backup access of my bookmarks. I took the time to import it to Delicious though I'm not happy with their services, but merely for the purpose of importing data to Pearltrees. It seems though with the bulk of my bookmarks, Pearltrees is having a hard time with it. So I'm in a limbo with my bookmarks. It's a devastating blow to my online resources to have Xmarks going exclusive so I'm still in search for a good alternative. I don't need those social networking options on my bookmarks add on, thanks very much.

Backwards

Out of impulsion in the middle of a personal financial crisis I find myself at National Bookstore this afternoon plucking a Sherlock Holmes Vol I on the shelf and buying it before it even grasped my mind. That's what I get from getting off from work early. Bored and out of sorts. That makes Measure for Measure sidetracked again. Too bad I was on the brink of determining what's up with the stick up Angelo's arse and Claudio's faith in his sister's holy powers. The latter story made me think of He's Beautiful--kind of same plot ,yes? Brother's in trouble so sister's off to save the day.

Now I really have to push Yvette to feed me an early Wednesday dinner because we still got 3 more tests to conquer before proper lecture and reporting starts. I'm quite wondering too if the school had classes earlier since there was some riot this weekend. Not my problem unless it affects our classes again and rescheduled. I miss psychopatho and I miss my prof. Just met him once but I'm quite sure he's a cool prof and I'll learn tons from him. I'm not one to have a crush on my prof but if it's consoling, he's gay so obviously, I don't have the right equipment to dangle in front of him for seduction.

No work tomorrow at the office means work at home and some form of discipline. Oh before that, already done with Hard-boiled Wonderland, finally. It has its quirks and brief flashes of genius but I still prefer Kakfa over it. I do wonder though if Murakami's novels are often a composition of parallelism. He's a brilliant writer but not enough at the moment to be considered a favourite. Marquez still tops and probably Eco after. Anyway, work will be quite tedious tomorrow. I have to polish the draft for assessment report (love to call it ass report, pun intended), adjusted work breakdown structure, rough draft of the minutes from this morning's meeting and the survey tally. Quite many but viable if solitude is with me.

Ten-te-ten-ten

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Bonjb!

1. The original nineteenth-century Coca-Cola formula contained bonjb!
2. The Asteroid Belt between Mars and Jupiter is made entirely of bonjb.
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6. Bonjb can clean her ears with her tongue, which is over thirty-nine inches long!
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I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

#3 I'm not even sure if there should be some hidden perversion behind that simple statement lol
#5 means I'm a horse. They can't vomit, right? Or is it cows?

Funked

At last I was in the brink of a panic thinking I won't be able to get my salary by the end of the work day. Good thing the boss was in a good mood. That means I get to have enough sustenance again to last me a week at most before I go crawling after Beth to leave me a trickle of my savings into my hands. At the very least, I get to pay what I owed my savings in oneshot, I think. I went straight to Megamall to buy a new battery for my Swatch; it's fortunate that it's still working after years of it's battery dying out on me and leaving it for dead in my cabinet. I had it done with some glass polishing so it looks pretty decent for a 5-years old watch. My Timex though which is just 3 years old is good as dead. They say it's the machine and it will cost 600 bucks to repair it. No way then. I'd better save enough moolah to buy a flic flac or something. Then something good but weird happened; in that fateful sense. I went to the food court and bought some meager dinner when I practically bumped into Zena and her older sister, the latter my ex-professor back in college. The absolute surprise came at the thought of I had nearly sat at a table a few metres away when I decided to change location, and at the same time Zena nearly dragged her sister to another lane only to be pulled back to continue in the same path where we eventually met. Got myself a treat of scrabble for dessert and funny stories from Zena's older sister who had worked at Dubai a few years back. We parted after an hour since they were still in the process of transferring to a new house; Zena's still pondering how to get her cat to stay at the new place despite their landlord's ultimatum of no pets allowed. I loitered around the mall for a few more minutes before I went home to be welcomed by an onslaught of ala Ondoy downpour. I wasn't in my right mind when I had decided to skip the tricycle in favor of walking only to arrive at home with practically my shirt only half dry.

I still have to go to school tomorrow, bugger it. I just wish it wouldn't rain by morning. Heaven knows what kind of hell it is to bring a laptop half your weight even a few metres away from the house. I'm off to meet my classmates to work on the group assignment and get my ID as well. Apologies if I can't even bare to think of the first session with both my classes this week. I'm just too drained to even make fun of it. Ah, I should email my psychopatho prof to give me e-copies of journals now.

Barely there

Honestly, I'm more excited on seeing Zena again than finally enrolling for my master's. I'm glad no one's making a big deal out of it too; just the usual banter for taking classes again. I guess it will materialize by the time I start my classes officially next Monday. I'm not mentally prepared on the idea of getting home by near midnight twice a week but that's the price to pay, right? I'm looking forward to getting my hands on the uni's library though. I'll make sure every penny on my assessment dedicated to library services will be met with satisfaction.

It's the 3rd quarterly socials tomorrow. It's getting tiring, I wonder how those folks who have served under the office for more than a decade can still have the stomach to attend these hoopla annually. It's not like there's anything new except for the usual program of selected folks performing, the usual disco and the quotidian dinner. I'm quite in doubt if I should bother going there (therefore wasting bus fare) by late afternoon because I already finished my work today. It's a good thing the STL error was edited in the last minute. Sir A can just sign them and we can be off to Fort Bonifacio next Tuesday.

Cine Europa's starting this Friday. I seriously don't have enough budget to even walk around the mall because I get hungry easily and that's such a fun, guilt-less way to shred cash until you get home and ponder about it. I might try one by Monday before class starts though, if I remember dropping by Shangri-la that is. My quest for a new job possibly as a part time instructor in some uni/colleges around the area might be possible. I had the chance to chat Mannel last night for some updates on Olai who invited me to her wedding but didn't bother to say when. Out of the blue, the topic swirled to overpriced eyeglasses, astigmatism then to new jobs. It's not like I'm born to teach but that's beside the point if I want to have continuous moolah flowing through my fingers. Mannel's pushing me to apply to her college since she knows an acquaintance who knows the HR of the institution. Walk-in application is preferred so sometime next month if I even bother, I'd have to drag Mannel with me to apply and to have some time to chat. That's two birds in one stone.

Final shots

There was an overall sense of detachment in touring the Ayala Museum, but not for it's lack of effort. Rather, I can blame it on my overall exhaustion and ennui. In a way, I enjoyed it. Cors enjoyed it more, I guess since she practically perused every written details on the gold treasures from a millennium ago at the museum's fourth floor. I guess, the third floor which hosted paintings were the best for me, but I learned more about Venice and Constantinople's quests for gold and greed at the fourth floor. Most of Zobel's paintings were abstract based, something I was never fond of as a trying hard artist. Amorosolo's portrait paintings were better, but Zobel's quotidian photographs of the old world showed too much history. The dioramas presenting the country's history were focused more for a child's entertainment. The miniature models of 16th century ships were lovely though. A big thanks to Zafra's contest where I had won my free ticket pass to the museum last year. Haha. It's fortunate that I double checked the expiration which was on September 9 rather than my assumed end of the year. Bleh.

Beth met up with us after her meeting at the office. As usual from my prompting, we had merienda at Conti's (I'm faithful to mango bravo) and then met up with Chard for a much needed laughter time over Miss Universe and Bear Grylls whom I've just heard of for the first time last night. It was a Friday so the usual rush hour held us back from going home to watch Magkaribal. Cors had her pedicure while Beth and I strolled back at SM checking watches and making fun of ourselves in general. I guess, I should appreciate these trips more because I can feel that once school starts, I'll barely be able to loiter online even on weekends.

Still alive

So far so good in my master's processing. I thought the confirmation thing would simply consist of paying for the reservation fee and getting the kit but turns out the uni's way too organized for that. At least they got the online registration; less hassle until the enrollment/orientation day on September. Too many have already asked if I'm excited about it and honestly, not really. I mean, sure, I was ecstatic to see that I got accepted but afterwards, the thought pretty much got sacked at the back of my mind. I had to put several reminders on my phone about the confirmation schedule, which I've initially missed, and now for the online reg and enrollment. I had asked for Zena's guidance last night about some things I needed clarification on, and the best I could hope for right now is that we'll have the same schedule of classes so we could go home together. Might as well prepare myself mentally for the upcoming classes and homework/projects.

Anyway, after the uni I met up with Beth way too early at Makati. We literally had 5 hours of time to spare so we jumped on my idea of watching The Expendables. It's funny that old geezers like Stallone still had the stamina to run around and do hardcore wrestling. The movie was fun in the sense that the script made the movie work in some way; you have to have an inkling of an idea about their signature characters to really appreciate the wit. All of them brawns and half brains with testosterone oozing out of their ears had enough diva-ness in them to beat the Spice Girls. Jason Statham was pure love. I'm terribly biased about him and I know he's aware that the movies he's making aren't up for an Academy anytime soon. Jet Li with a lighter character was a surprisingly good version. Not much scowling and more witty half-baked lines made him the second best in the movie. And all I can think about nearly the entire movie was the abundance of unnecessary close ups you'd think their pores are part of the script. I'd prefer long shots because Stallone's droopy eyes and botox-shocked features were a horror to see. It's nice to see Dolph Lundgren whom I've come to prefer over van Damme anytime due to the long hours of exposure to his films on the bus. The showdown between Lundgren and Li was half amusing, half scary by just the difference in their heights. It's not a movie I'd recommend but it's a good way to pass time. Rather that than In Your Eyes, no? Beth then treated half by my choice at Conti's with a perennial order of mango bravo. The damn cake will leave me bloated in no time it's a boon that there's no near branch near my workplace. She also approved of Cafe Mediterranean's food so a big thanks for that goes to Yvette who initially introduced me to the resto.

Motherfuckers

I want to see those men who advocate the inhumane gassing of street dogs to undergo the same torture. I want their suffering to be seen by their fucking families so they'll know that just because animals are a step lower than us superior humans, it is not enough excuse to kill like animals. I fucking want them to die. Seriously. Not one human has the right to torture or even domesticate a wild animal. More so to kill them because they're merely loitering around the metro. Just who the fuck is to blame for that?

JFC. If there's anything more lowly than this atrocious act, then I don't know what it is. Genocide, massacre, pillaging are so common in this lifetime you get inured by it.


I wish I never took the time to read PDI's editorial, dammit.

Vonnegut's 8

Eight rules for writing fiction:

1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.

2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.

3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.

4. Every sentence must do one of two things — reveal character or advance the action.

5. Start as close to the end as possible.

6. Be a sadist. Now matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them — in order that the reader may see what they are made of.

7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.

8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.



For the dead writer in me. Someday perhaps, I'll re-unit with my muse.

From vastempires. Many thanks!

~

Nicked from my LJ

Endless

Patience pays off. I have never been a fan, but at the greatest moments in my life I seem to have the natural capability to extend a sympathizing thought for it. At any rate, it landed me in the successful uncovering of two books of the Enderverse: Speaker for the Dead and Ender's Shadow. Provided, I underwent a continental toil of scouring around bookstores around the metro for it only to lead me to the inescapably seductive Booksale. The particular surplus shop of books gives light to the imaginative and obsessive side of me. In the peak of my existence and interest, I sniff and comb through each and every book that passes through my fingers. Nothing goes unnoticed by my myopic, perennially exhausted eyes. The miraculous moment happened at the most unexpected moment; while half-heartedly checking . I was perusing books in a leisurely manner, at a point where I'm mentally half resigned to an Ender-less month, when I shifted a stack and voila, Speaker for the Dead was staring straight back at me. Gasping has never been more vindicated. Catching Ender's Shadow, a shelf below the pot of gold was a consolation in advance. Unearthing two books in one night prompted me to turn the bookstore upside down. Frank Herbert, John Grisham, Tami Hoag kept staring back at me. Herbert, I know in the near future, I shall haunt your works in the same way I've been contemplating life in congruence with finding Enderverse books. But for now, I shall drift by Hard-boiled Wonderland with the occasional nips with Greek Mythology before I settle for my grand prize.

Stoked

There's a borderline between an elegant and ostentatious wedding. You haul half the guests around Manila for the preparations, wedding and the reception, I doubt even your in-laws would be happy about that. To think that you also live a miserable life since elementary days that you drag a college mate as the maid of honor just because you have this coloured view of abusing her for pathetic requests of call credits. Seriously, are you gagging for the marriage because you cannot wait to be enslaved to a nitwit of a man or because you're salivating at the idea of living in the States? Either of the two is a wretched decision. And since you're aiming it to be your wedding and not you and your fiance's wedding, then you also made sure that you'll invite half the socialites/trying hard in the class to flaunt your feathers. And your wedding gown is more than 50 grand? I hope your future husband won't find himself working to the bones the day after your ceremony to pay for the debts you're intent to busting.

Anyway, that's what you get for chatting with Yvette whom I haven't seen for more than a year. We live at the opposite sides of the metro and we circulate with different peers so the pinnacle of gossip and family drama are uncensored. I had fun eating to my heart's content at Tokyo Tokyo in Glorietta 5, which I have to emphasize their beyond the moon sucktastic service; why did they even bother doing the formal dining setting if they're doing it half baked? And because I'm still high for mango bravo, dessert was at Conti's--a conio version of Goldilocks, I swear. I hate the ambiance because half the city is dining there and you cannot hear each other's voices because the other table's occupants are simply raucous in their suits and bootlicking. Well at least I won't have to pester Yvette for the next 6 months to meet up and chat. Next one would be Margz, I suppose, for next Saturday and unless Yen decides to push for a party the same day, then we might as well join the gang to save a penny or two.

I seriously was looking forward to scout around Makati's bookstores for Ender's Game series. I've scoured 3 bookstores, 7 branches to no avail. It's beyond hope, I'm falling in a depressed state. I got sick and tired of hearing them say 'out of stock'. It's the only book I'm really willing to lose sleep over at the moment. Powerbooks and Fully Booked both offered to get me a special order but that's going to be a waste of money if I didn't get the complete series when it'll be shipped from abroad. My last chance will be SM Fairview  since half the populace around the area are cavemen. I got Edith Hamilton's Greek Mythology as a consolation price though. I've had this book before, but like some of my books it disappeared into thin air. I was in the middle of reading the Trojan War when went it went MIA on me. But I'm stuck with Hard-boiled Wonderland until then.

~

The brilliance of August aside from the downpour is the football season nearing its kick off! Real Madrid had their first friendly for the 2010/2011 campaign this afternoon against Club America Mexico (weird club name) with a 2-3 deal. It's orgasmic to see the players in white again after all the drama during the World Cup! And just so, I terribly missed seeing Granero, who played brilliantly in the game. BB Guti (aka Sergio Canales) scored the first goal, and what a way to seal the deal for Mourinho, no? It's amazing and exhilarating to see the Castilla players having a chance to show their talent in the second half. Honestly, it was too hot and the game was a tad boring in the first half, which made me watch it half heartedly. I also noticed that Cristiano Ronaldo seemed less diva like in the pitch with his dying swan stunts. Good call for him after all the negative reputation he's been getting ever since. I'm excited for their friendly versus LA Galaxy! OMG it's David Beckham vs Iker Casillas. Ah the Becksillas era still shines through. I cannot wait.

Jobuggering

I can partially understand my parents' inquisitive demands to accept the counseling-related consultancy for a small private school around here. For all they know, I did graduate with a degree in psychology; general psychology for that matter. Sure, I had 100 hours of practicum for a clinical, industrial and school setting, but I don't think they'd even consider asking me if I did minor counseling sessions at all, which I didn't and there lies the problem with me accepting the offer. I would in a heartbeat if I were that determined to pursue a specialization in guidance and counseling. Then again, I'm not. And that's another problem. I don't have the small time experience, and I don't have the heart for it. So why is my simple "no" not enough to placate their nagging? I might as well submit my CV and wait for an interview so they can stop harping about it and they can see where I'm more experienced in. Apparently, not everyone's knowledgeable enough that a child/pre-adolescent's education and a school's disposition on discipline have a big factor in a guidance counselor's job description. Ask students these days what's the first thing they think about a guidance counselor and the answer will most likely generalize on a student having committed something mischievous to warrant a visit. There's the initial stigma. Then there's also the fact that problematic students' parents are often called to have a meeting with the teacher and guidance counselor. So whatever may happen in this possible consultation that they're pressing me to do, will have a butterfly effect on the dealings of the school towards their charges. Something I never gave a damn about. I'm no biggie on the human development although that is a handy tool in clinical psychology. And despite the fact that I've no love lost between me and the younger generation of the country today, I've no apparent interest too in destroying their elementary/high school experience by suggesting and making a curriculum worthy of being shredded in half a moment.

~

Discombobulated would be the best word apt for the current status of the project. Last week I went to the project manager's office, and he belatedly showed me that he actually did have the determination to read about the psychological testing two years ago when he was still into it. There's tons of books all right and at the back of my head I kept thinking why most of the books were about recruitment and selection. First, the project's name is carved as aptitude test review and redevelopment. Second, there is a separate project for procurement and selection. Therefore third, why is everybody on the team so bent on assessing the recruitment process of applicants? Are we forgetting that we are supposed to make a new test out of the blasted old one? We should not and never be concerned about the predicaments and hoopla around selection because the aptitude test we are working on is only one of the instruments for screening process.  Why then does everyone assume that the aptitude test will be responsible enough to cull applicants in determining whether these adolescents have the capability to perform and learn? In fact, it the project team even manages to produce a worthy aptitude test then even the most uneducated person in this god forsaken country will be successfully tested on his aptitude. So there really is no problem in dealing with half idiots and geniuses applying. Time is running out and so is the budget for the project. I can definitely say that the group members I have had during college performed better in dealing with project content, never mind if we don't like each other. Our grades rested on that obviously. But the team members' names and reputation also rest on the success of a new and concrete aptitude test. But as I would often remind myself, it's not like it's really my project. I'm just the mere researcher; I gather and collect data for them. I should never give a damn if the project's snowballing into a massive failure. I'm just not too sure what kind of fabrication and sweet lemoning I would endure to make the project look like a relative success when I'll be interviewed for a new job.

Las Leyendas

Whatever happens from tomorrow onwards, I will never ever forget that I grew up watching the two of you bring the best out of our club. Hala Madrid.

Shitload

What's with the new generation gagging for the sake of posterity? I'm not begrudging them of anything personal but I wonder what kind of life they're after once they beget their whelps. Haven't they even heard of the term career advancement or even post-graduate studies? It's not as poisonous and onerous as one might think to achieve. I can't even think why folks who are itching for the fuck of their lives could not even use contraceptives to save their arses. I doubt half of them are even planning to plunge deep into parenthood at the age of 18. It's not like they have enough support/maturity (psychologically, the most significant) of any kind to ensure that their children will have a proper life when they grow up. And pundits keep asking why the country's in a constant debilitating state. Fuck the church for standing their ground on banning contraceptives. Excuse me, this isn't a first-world country where teenagers have other outlets to focus on other than the usual wretched life, vices, peer pressure and piss poor grades in college. The adults themselves couldn't stop from breeding like the common dogs, what makes the adolescents all the better with that kinds of example? That rant sprouts from the recent news of my high school friend tying the knot in October because she got knocked up. Well, good for her and her kind. But then again, she's one of the persons I know who's hell bent on having a boyfriend since high school that it's no big surprise to hear that. I call that lacking enough aspirations in life. It's not like motherhood stops by the age of 26, for chrissake. It's practically futile to wish for the country's progress when there's enough problem to drown Luzon in 3 seconds flat.

Anyway, I'm practically being cajoled by the recent movies I've been watching on the bus. First, there was Indiana Jones and the Lost Crusade which I could vouch for the pure awesomeness and perfection of Harrison Ford and Sean Connery's father-and-son tandem. It left me laughing at every turn. Then there's The Last Airbender which I never was a fan although my sister and dad were. Saw the first twenty minutes or so and actually thought it might be a fun filled movie since I've no expectation on the storyline itself. Plus Robin Hood starring Kevin Costner. Alan Rickman's the sole factor why I'm determined to download the movie. Costner's just a second prize although the comedy factor is a big boon. I think it's also a fluke that I downloaded Mr & Mrs Smith again which as it turned out, an unrated/uncut version; I'm definitely going into hermit mode in my room to watch that later.

Ra-ra-rant! Rant!

I'll probably be stuck in the house for the rest of the week since office work can be done through emails and chat. My TOR's ready for pick up though so I'll drop by school tomorrow and submit it to the uni. Yvette's banning me from their house so there's no point loitering around Manila area unless I'm compelled to have a Quiapo stop over for some weird things/DVDs or something. Anyway, Cors is on her way back to the country today. It's too unfortunate that most Spain WC items are sold out; at least she still bought me a memorabilia; that Sergio Ramos Spain NT shirt will be in my grubby hands by my birthday. Then we'll spare enough time on Friday to watch Inception. It's a good thing though that I don't have to even exert effort to fend off film reviews and trailers, probably because most of my buddies have yet to see it too. I've seen the trailer when I saw Shutter Island which was months ago but I couldn't recall it. Those posters along Edsa are seductive to a fault. I can't get enough of them.

My right ankle is still bothering me but not so much that it requires immediate medical attention. Just little spears of pain at some angles which can be minimized though I hate it that I'm learning not to put too much pressure on that foot whenever my body's under duress. In all likelihood this might just be a big blinking signal for me to start exercising but I've never been an exercise junkie so try harder, body. My right index finger tremor also disappeared thank heavens for that. It was a hell to trying to sleep and feeling that finger involuntarily moving; besides, there's this slight numbness on that finger whenever that happens and I'm such a paranoid I hate the slightest discomfort from my body. I'm no hypochondriac though; heaven knows how much I hate feeling weak.

As for sports, there's enough World Cup withdrawal for me to turn a blind eye on the Open Championship. And it's been years since I've watched majors, and just as well with tennis. Back to football, the 2010/2011 season will kick off in August so there's enough time to get my bearings back and see what kind of fuckery Real Madrid will go into in another two months or so.

Oh I actually installed Kubuntu along with my Ubuntu. There are some glitches I'd like to polish such as my theme which is more for Gnome and the tons of doubled programs which I'll have to hide. I've yet to find anything cool or worthy with KDE; activating Kate's taking pretty long and so far, that's the only app I'm into since it has more settings than gedit. I'm giving KDE a week or month-long leeway though for all the trouble I've gone through to install it (in the wee hours of the morning that is). My mouth's all to be blamed for this though. I couldn't just keep my trap shut enough not to question the difference between Gnome and KDE because I'm not going to lie, Gnome's more for an end-user's vices and whatnots and flashy apps while according to Aya, KDE's moulded for a student's usage. That's my kind of thing to be honest but I've yet to see cool KDE apps to equate  that description. So far, after a year or so of continuous usage Ubuntu's living up to my needs and wants. Tarballs still make me go crazy but other than that, I've no reason to complain about them compared to my predicaments with Windows back then. And it's not like I left the world of Microsoft at all; I'm practically surrounded by XP and Vista in the house and at the office so I still know the twist and turns of Microsoft.

Europe was never enough! Viva España!

¡Vamos España!

Well, I've done my best or so I believe with my entrance exam. Not that the math was entirely an encouraging feat considering that the test wasn't even arranged by item difficulty and the first handed out. I can most likely say that I did pretty good on the verbal (unfortunate to have so few items) and the psychology review (which most are instinctive guesses for me). Not entirely too sure about the essay too with a rather apt prompt about Einstein's take on science and religion. The entirety of the test was pretty normal. I wasn't sporting sweaty palms but the usual way too cold room kind of fucked up with my concentration since I had taken a mild tendency to be a worrywart about my bladder's plaints.

Anyway, I can't believe the World Cup is over in a few hours. Typical expression, I know but I'm not one to count the days when the tournament's ongoing. It felt rather weird to have my top 3 teams I was vying for (Spain, Germany, Netherlands) to be on the top 3 in the tournament. Granted, I never wanted them to face each other perhaps except Spain and Germany having a past with the Euro2008, but that's how it would be in a few hours. I sent a last minute text to Anna hoping we could have a last minute meet up to watch the final match live and enjoy each other's company like 4 years ago. Turns out it's still a futile attempt on my part; not begrudging her of anything although I'd be happier with her sparing me a text or two for some explanation. I'm just hoping to the high heavens that I'll be able to watch the game without glitches in my internet connection. God knows what kind of fuckery I might spill when I call Smartbro's customer support in the middle of the match.

So, with me doing my best in my exam and managed to go to mass inevitably, I hope for Spain to do their best tonight.

¡Vamos España!

This.

I am going to church this Saturday to say my graces for this wonderful win against Germany and the finals versus Netherlands. I will have mass after 342348320 years of practising atheism so heaven help me I might burn like crazy.

No one can stop me.

Might as well pray for the success of my entrance exam on Saturday, too.

We're in the finals! Viva España!

First time semi-finals! Viva!

One step up

Turns out my dentist failed to meet up with my early Saturday appointment. I didn't have the energy to get mad since my sleep deprivation buggered me more than a failed check-up. My right foot's making a mountain out of a molehill here; or rather, it's me. Call it being paranoid, but I hate it when my mind automatically tries to deduct whatever scientific processes that might've led to my condition. I forgot to mention that my lower left back has been bothering me in the sense that it's more about my internal organs rather than muscle pain. Lower back means kidneys, which prompted me to ask Beth--who's family has a nice camaraderie with diabetes, UTI and kidney problems--whether I should be a tad more worried about what I'm feeling. She's two thumbs up about an immediate check-up since prevention is better than cure and all that jazz. The thing is, I'd hate to pay for something other than a pulmonologist consultation because hey, my number one fan is asthma. I'm not supposed to have something against my kidney functions. Sure I drink carbonated drinks as much the next fellow who lives in a tropical country, but I don't overdo it. Then there's the slight problem with my tendency to hinder myself from taking a pee whenever the urge hits me. A few months back, even at the slightest hint of my bladder bleating, I'd be off to the loo in a flash. My indolence and World Cup would be the obvious culprits in this. Anyway, I'll try to get a gratis check-up next week at the official hospital and perhaps a blood chem, too. I'll only pay for a neprhologist when I'm in enough pain to consider carving out my kidney with an earbud. I'm starting with the water diet though. No more iced teas and colas; might as well pay attention to my bladder's immediate needs again.

I'm still not over my appalling low grade result on my civil service exam from last year. Beth had mentioned that there was a pretty low passing rate for last year, something I should be grateful about. I am grateful that I passed the exam in one take however, I am not grateful for earning an upsetting grade that not even a grade 1 student can be proud of.

World Cup update: I was such a hypocrite to sleep off the second half of Netherlands - Brazil match provided that I was all for Netherlands to qualify for semi-finals. A few minutes after I cut off my stream, Sneijder netted another goal. Damn. I love Ricky but I would love to see more of Robben, Sneijder and of course van der Vaart to play better. I absolutely detest Robinho's attitude and his memorable breakdown during his stint at Real Madrid; seeing him with shit sprouting out of his mouth at every foul makes me want to strangle him. More drama was involved in the Uruguay - Ghana match though I have yet to see the highlights of the match with Luis Suarez transforming to a keeper in desperation. As for the second part of the quarter-finas, it's going to be a hell with Argentina and Germany facing off, Maradona and Jogi racing at the front. That's going to be way more interesting with both teams with awesome performances in their latest matches. As much as I want Pipita to advance further in his first World Cup and being a contender for the Golden Foot award, I'm torn for Germany even if not one of them is playing for Real Madrid. I would not grieve over Argentina qualifying though I'd be happier if Germany gets the ticket. Paraguay and Spain will also face off tonight with much anticipation for my team. Paraguay's defense helped them qualify this long in the tournament so La Furia Roja's tiki-taka will prove to be a good challenge on both ends. My body practically imposed a siesta early with my constant thoughts for the two upcoming matches that will strain my sleep cycle again. But hey, this event is held quadrennially even if I also have to wake up at ungodly hours when I watch La Liga matches nonetheless, World Cup has more significance. I miss Real Madrid terribly so though.

My Portugal - Spain World Cup match download is complete! Good diversion before Argentina - Germany. Too bad the commentators aren't English.

Hup-ping

I'm going spare over the project. "Why did I even renew my contract?" was my running internal commentary for the whole day the project team met for the usual weekly call. Seriously though, the idea of finishing the project and notching it on my CV is very tempting, but somehow, I find it maddening that the road to the project's completion is long, hard and absolutely painful to anyone's arse but my own.

As for my ankle that's been bothering me, it considerably swelled yesterday after being stuck in an air-conditioned room for several hours. The act of walking lessens the discomfort more than sitting and trying to find the perfect angle and posture to ease the dull pain in my ankle. Yel accompanied me to the station hospital with a doctor who should be ashamed for having an medical degree. Granted, my bad ankle is pretty minor but it doesn't mean he's past checking my afflicted body part and merely produce a prescription. I had gotten home when I  realized my ankle was pretty much swollen; I had to apply hot compress twice with the prescripted med to ease my mind. Fortunately, the pain dulled by morning though there's still some swelling that needs to me monitored.

My SIM card of nearly seven years finally gave up this afternoon. I've been forestalling my SIM card's replacement for about a year so I guess it's nothing worth crying over. Just too bad I still had enough unused load credits in my old SIM card. I'm still stuck with Smart; most of my acquaintances are under the same network. I'm no fanatic of either networks for the sake of an opinion. I had initially planned to try out Globe then realized that despite not using the call/text promos, I'm still familiar with Smart's services so there goes the ultimatum. Good thing all my text messages and contacts are stored in the phone memory so date loss is no problem.

A side note on tennis: I think I'm the last tennis fan to know of Federer's defeat against Berdych in Wimbledon. I don't have the particulars over match statistics except for a vague recollection of the 4-set scores for the match. Honestly, I'm not fond of Federer nor Nadal so either of them going down the top seed list will bear nothing but a minute or two of rumination over the players and their era of domination. I do hope new players will provide more talent and challenge for the veteran players lest most tennis fans will tire of it. The top players are as resistant in change as those in professional golf. And sometimes, that's one of the downsides in individual sports. Good job for the reed thin, bamboo tall Berdych, by the way. I became familiar with him when he had won the ATP Masters Series in 2005 against Ljubicic in a pretty good match.

Lastly, World Cup quarter-finals resume today with Netherlands and Brazil starting off by 10pm. I'm all for Netherlands' win here. They deserve it with their satisfying play and strategies and besides, I can alreadt feel Sneijder's desire to assist or net a goal in the match a thousand miles away from South Africa. Robben and Van der Vaart are also two of the reasons why I'm vying for their win. Needless to say, Kaka is also a current player of Brazil but I haven't been a big fan of the team. Argentina and Germany's face off will be legendary if not for the subtle mudslinging from Maradona and some German players.

Quarter-finals, baby!

I did actually wake up past 6 this morning with a gasp thinking, "Spain won with a 3-0, right?" Then realized seconds later that I got that idea from my dream. And that's just how persevering my mind was even in sleep and still thinking of Spain winning against Portugal. Not that my dream/assumption is far of the mark; Spain won with a 1-0 scoreboard all thanks to David Villa, who just keeps scoring and scoring every damn match. To the quarter-finals, baby! I've read wisps of comments on how commentators will not shut up on Fernando Torres' lack of ingenuity in the pitch at the moment. Yes, it's debatable how much time will you give a player to adjust to his recent injury and play time before the pundits are starting to get impatient, but come on, cut the bloke some slack. Spain NT do not consist of Fernando Torres alone, fuckheads. In one of Torres' interviews, he actually has a point in saying it's more of Villa's task to get a goal in. With two strikers up front, one has always got to share the space and the ball to create chances inside the box for your partner striker. Torres is not stupid enough to know that he's just come back from an injury and not accept a less major task. I'm still downloading the Spain - Portugal match, which I'm absolutely anticipating. A big blunder on my behalf this morning to set my alarm, wake up, decide that Spain will win then go back to sleep. Seriously, the demon inside me simply pressed how exhausted I was and in a rather obnoxious way tell me that Spain's going to win over Portugal so why bother? That possibly led to my 3-0 victory dream. It's sad to see Cristiano Ronaldo and Pepe, players of Real Madrid and Portugal leave the competition already. Pepe just got his form and hair back and I haven't really seen him play at all in this tournament. I'm hoping to see him play more in the coming 2010/2011 La Liga season though.

The bloody despedida was the reason why I suffered from debilitating exhaustion that not even Sergio Ramos' toned body could rouse me from my bed. I had the opportunity to work at home yesterday to the agreement of my boss who absolutely forgot that there's a party after work for them. It's going to be Sir A and Sir G's despedida with the former off to vacation for a month, and the latter for a year of schooling abroad. I wasn't that convinced to go until I had decided to hell with it since there's going to be tons of food to feast on. The bosses decided to go for Katips which has a horrible service and unsatisfactory food. Good thing I bloated myself with enough nachos that I had little less proper dinner when the main platters came. Went home by past 9 along with the other officemates with half a bottle of vodka ice down my bladder.

Anyway, my right ankle has been bothering me for days. I'm not sure why there's a dull pain when I angle my foot upwards. I'm just hoping this wouldn't get worse since I don't feel any discomfort when I walk. Perhaps I have to stick with my sneakers for absolute comfort rather than my flats.

And what the fuck is the breaking news of David Silva off to Man City? Of all the fucking clubs to go to?! Gods, it's times like this that I'm absofuckinglutely furious of Real Madrid's continuous shunning of Silva who has been vocal in his dream to play for the club. Jose Mourinho not wanting him is a considerable factor then again, I've never been a drooling fan of Mourinho's coaching proficiency. The club's going to regret not considering a proper move for Silva.

Round 16

Watching World Cup matches are taking its toll on me; not that I'm complaining, but my share of sleep deprivation and sudden binging is a bit alarming. Technically, I only spare Spain's matches my entire attention though I manage to catch glimpses of other teams I'm partially cheering for. Early morning's match against Chile made such a mess out of me my crying from the Switzerland defeat looked like a child's tantrum. Everyone's contesting about the beauty of Villa's goal some 40 yards away, but really, that's one fucking amazing goal. A huge, absolute gaffe from Chile's keeper to run out of his box to counter the ball only to pass it along to Villa that sent Chile's play snowballing into panic mode. Reckless tackles and the onslaught of yellow cards chased them till half time whistle. I couldn't blame them with Iniesta earning the second goal, too. But really, with some respect to Chile, they were absolutely playing the game at the start, unsettling Spain's formation and defense with the ball possession constantly almost equalized. They were just too hyped up and aggressive that their tactics were turning against them with Spain's passes negating their moves. And for the record, that fucking goal on second half from Millar was totally unexpected, and not even the greatest keeper in history can stop it. Please review the highlight because even Pique and the gang of defenders were only able to stare at the ball slinging through the upper left in the net. So yeah? Casillas is a professional and a bloody veteran of the game. Pundits can go the fuck off, especially those bandwagon teens spewing critiques like they're the ace of all football comments. He may have had a stormy season in La Liga recently but I do think he's managed to work himself up into a tidy state since this is the fucking World Cup, and he knows it's Spain's golden era, and lightning never strikes the same place twice. And onto the brighter part of the match, topping Group H means Spain will face Portugal on the knock-out round; that's practically miles better than facing Brazil this early. That would've left me shitting my lungs and bleeding from the scalp in complete 3-hour agony. If Portugal still has yet to come down from their 7-0 cloud nine win over North Korea, then Spain has a fat lot better chances in advancing to the next round. I'm not sure those world class passing techniques of Spain can see much of the back of the net when they two teams almost share the same proficiency in dealing with the ball. And for the love of all things holy, please shut up about Fernando Torres' inability to shake off the rust from his recent injury an and treating it like a national emergency and generalizing it as Spain's upcoming defeat. Torres is not the only player in the team and Villa's bursting with enough libido to overcome Raul's all time scoring record in a few more games. Torres has had 3 games with nothing but failing shots and lack of effective usage of crosses and passes, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. I seriously cannot see the hoopla over Torres's success, but that's me and my tendency to shun the EPL.

USA's going face to face with Ghana tonight, and the bloody fuck are they having a relatively easy path up? I'm still not taking them seriously and they can go fuck off with their soccer loving fans. Germany and England's match is going to be a lot more interesting. It's going to take more than a 1-0 win from England over Slovenia to dredge up the necessary confidence and skill from their veteran players to go against the youngsters of Germany who have the aplomb of a killer team; they nearly nailed Spain in the Euro2008, after all. Argentina, on the other hand, has had far more ease than most teams with their games. You can fault Maradona for everything he says to the media (and Pele! LOL) but you cannot fault his determination to see Argentina rise on top. I haven't seen any Argentina matches but with Pipita's hat trick still lingering gleefully in the back of my mind, I can't say I'm unhappy to see them progress.

In my more domestic news, I took it to myself to extend some effort and get my civil service certificate yesterday. The process was relatively easy and pain-free, a rather big surprise from the appalling standard treatment from government agencies. I got a passing but pathetic score, which obviously mirrored my lack of motivation and regression of knowledge in anything academic at the moment. Which leads me to a rather scary notion of failing my entrance exam for my master's. I can't stop thinking about the consequences and suicidal tendencies if I were to really fail a goddamn entrance test at this age, but fuck it if it's not for my inability to do anything than practice indolence like a nun on high. The scholarship program also took on a sour turn as there are no available slots for psych applicants. It's going to be a hell of a time saving money when I can't even stop myself from stuffing myself at the slightest hint of my mind and stomach rumbling in complaint.

I'm slowly enjoying Hard-boiled Wonderland; as always, Murakami's characters earn more than indifference with their personalities; there's always something definitely quirky and idiosyncratic that very much reminds me of anime. I got the chance to scour Booksale and got a good catch with Shakespeare's Othello and Measure for Measure. My eyes were as good as programmed to track down Card's name--which I saw, but it's not of the Ender series. It's a co-written work for a medical/thriller novel which I'm not really interest at the moment as I keep repeating to myself that I still have tons of books lined up on my bookshelf. Shakespeare is the great exemption. I can basically read his works and appreciate it even at my darkest hour of literacy. It looks a bump in the arse, but once you get the hang out of his prose, it's almost a cake walk to enjoy and appreciate his genius and wit.

As for work, the project's all out for extending my contract until October or at least until the project's completion. I'm not turning away from the immediate money here, but I seriously want to consider other job prospects already. I just need my post-grad units to apply for certain jobs and leave the entirety and possible worsening of the project with the top boss leaving a sense of hopelessness and enough dedication to blink an eye for the project's success. Beth managed to coax her project team to sponsor the fee for the psychiatry-related seminar at V. Luna this coming July, which led me to thinking that I might as well do some wheedling of my own to the boss to pay for it. It's only 300 bucks, but damn if I'm going to easily let go of my dough that easily when I'm preparing to cash out some hard bucks for my studies.

ETA: Pepe played in the Portugal-Brazil match! And I didn't even bother with the line-up, pretty stupid of me. It's good to see him on the pitch again, and I'm looking forward to see him back at Santiago Bernabeu making a difference in the defense!

Spanish Inquisition

Switzerland's goal against Spain held more of a rising anger rather than disbelief at the poor excuse for scoring. Indeed, it was purely out of luck that Fernandes was in the right moment at the right time, sweeping past Casillas' last minute defense and Puyol's tackle. In the first place, I've never been an entirely optimistic person however, the amassed positive energy and prayers for La Roja was overwhelming in the least of what I can describe. But with me bursting into tears seeing the scoreboard and realizing minute after minute that it's going to be futile even with Fernando Torres' arresting presence with David Villa, and Jesus Navas' exceptionally fresh techniques, then I knew at the back of my head that it would all go downhill. I was not beyond begging and praying though, to the heavens for a last minute miracle, with my heart jumping every time the Swiss got a chance to repeat a goal and their clumsy yet effective attempt at a solid defense against tons of Spain's goals on target. The two Mudshakes I had bought failed to simmer the misery over the defeat; enough that it still made my eyes water the morning after. Spain's playing against Honduras and the surprisingly solid Chile this upcoming week and I'm hoping that they can get their deserved points to get through to the knock-out stage.

On another World Cup related thing, there's this absolute blooming contempt against WC bimbos who suddenly sprout otherworldly extolment for the leading teams on the tournament. It's basically jumping the bandwagon of a popular sport to gain pretentious ideas; I fail to see the amusement and appreciation in this mockery. Still, there are tons of dedicated football fans who could not--for the love of their mothers-- stop hinting about the chasm amongst the Spain NT which is mostly dominated by Real Madrid and Barcelona players. If they weren't able to gel their goals and dismiss the pride of being archrivals then they would not have been able to become European champions in 2008. Seriously, they're grown men, long familiar with each other and it's only the fanatic fans of the respective clubs that chuck blue murder at every point and turn. It would only be in vain to dig the graves of the Spanish players who apparently lost the ball that produced the unfortunate goal and point the blame towards the clubs they play at. What with the absurdity of those accusations?

Anyway, work still has the same tedious quality. The project team already managed to finish their revisions for a subtest with another subtest to be edited next week. It seems like the boss still plans to extend my contract until the project's due date but I'm more worried on the efficiency and legality of re-aligning the budget for other allocated expenses also known as my salary. Of course money comes first. It's not like I'm all begging for the job although to say that I would be able to finish the project would be a good brownie point on my CV.

Back to back

Honestly, I never thought the phrase 'dead on your feet' is more accurate than life itself. The experience came from joining the family all the way to Bolinao with barely 6 hours of sleep in my system. Just the situation of waiting for a bus at 5-star terminal is one horrendous experience. I honestly thought they were as organized as Victory Liner but seeing the mass population running to and fro trying to locate their bus was the starting nightmare. It placated me enough though that the aircon bus I got was lovely. The next problem sprouted from me dropping at Bolinao in 1 in the morning with no one to fetch me from the damn island. I had to stare at nothing and finally gave in taking a nap in a goddamn bus terminal. The funeral itself was alright. Not many relatives, not much wailing--because I don't know what kind of face I would've produced with those kinds of mourning. I honestly love the food because shrimps, crabs, danggit and fruits are as common as trees, but I fucking detest the accomodation. Dad and mom tried to coax me to stay for a day--with the bait of island hopping and swimming the morning after but I was adamant in getting home to take care of the dogs too. That and the idea of doing my bath business and sleeping was as sour as one can take. Therefore, I only stayed for like 12 hours before hurrying back to Manila where I pretty much slept the entire trip with Avatar playing in the background.

Still relatively banged up from the trip and it's not helping that even Sir A texted me just to comment on the USA - England match. It's going to take the fucking apocalypse before anyone can take me away from watching Spain's first game.

On another World Cup note, I knew I should've asked at the bus station if their telly had a cable tv. Everyone was on high drama because of Green's crawling with his arse up in the air and the Yanks cheering like they won in the finals.

LOL America

Crossing

I kept waking up to the din of our dogs barking madly, which always made me sit up abruptly. The second or third time it had happened this morning a sudden rush of throbbing pain shoot to my forehead. Thus managing a pretty bad headache since morning--and I pretty much survived going to the mall to pay the some bills and fall in line for half an hour to get cash. The World Cup officially started three hours ago with an impressive opening ceremony of colours and performances; R. Kelly was the biggest disappointment though--other than some of his R&B songs, I'm really not into him. Sir A suddenly called me up, sent me into a mild panic thinking he's hounding some work-related issue at this hour only to realize he's asking about the opening ceremony. I'm taking a piss at myself. I haven't had a decent stream since the official kick off between South Africa and Mexico. I guess FIFA's monitoring all these streams or something; JustinTV's streams all went dead.

On a domestic note, I'm all alone in the house till Monday probably. Dad and my sister went to the province for my grandmother's burial. As usual, the idea of me not joining the family sent dad into a sermon last night which I successfully ignored in favour of sleeping in. I'm open to the option of following tomorrow morning but the thought of traveling with a damn headache and having a period is not at all appealing so it's still under consideration.

Sudafrica 2010

FIFA World Cup South Africa 2010

11 June to 11 July 2010

Obviously, four years is a lot of wait but it's usually always worth it to join the celebration of football fever with millions of fans. Anna's still not answering any forms of communication from me so it's going to be a pretty lonely World Cup opening. I'm still hoping to get some folks for the final games to some bars, which is a long way from here.

My faith's with Spain as always; I will look out for Iker Casillas and Sergio Ramos. Other teams I'll be eyeing are Netherlands and Germany. What about you?

Stacking up

My grandmother just died this afternoon and it was with a pang of regret that I could exude enough remorse to ponder over it. I don't know if I should be disgusted with myself over the idea of not giving much damn about it; it's not like death's unusual occurrence in life after all. The guilt of not even calling mom asking about my grandmother's situation, nor the dislike of going over to Pangasinan just to attend a wake or a funeral settles within my consciousness like mud. I hate attending wakes and funerals in the first place. I hate the crying, I hate the bereavement and the idea of reminiscing over long-lost family relatives I have no interest in. I try to justify the idea of mourning over my grandmother's death but I don't want to appear all the more hypocritical just because norms dictates it. Her death is officially the first my family has suffered which can be considered as a really close relative. Something which I really should give a damn about but I can't find where to draw from.

To a livelier news, I happen not to chance seeing my superior before he left for official business after being stuck at home for three working days. The growing alarm over officemates who are starting to notice the unusual affection between the two parties are worrying. Apparently, one of my superiors thought that I should have the gumption to breach the rather complicated topic since I'm good friends with one of the said parties. The problem is I don't like to meddle more than I can in other people's business. It's not like it's my reputation is at stake in the long run.

World Cup related hoopla: Anna who is my ever constant buddy for football related things has yet to inform me of our possible plan for the upcoming event. It's not like we haven't had four years in planning to polish it. I do hope we could meet up for the finals though, if not for the opening ceremony. The quarterly socials of the office will also be held on the same date, and it's not like that party can hold a candle against watching the World Cup. I've been to a total of three socials and there's not much surprise over the rather humorous performances and the food. In other words: a sad excuse for gossiping and sucking up to the bosses.

Flipping the bees

There's no point denying the automatic reaction of malicious thought when there's no other reaction left to describe the situation. It would've been better if I were not in the same room, in the same bed they were sleeping, and oh pardon, cuddling/spooning all throughout the night. And if it weren't bad enough for my half asleep, downright exhausted brain to process, they had to continuously murmur like fucking lovebirds on a honeymoon without considering a third party sensing their every move. Could the said parties not get over the fact that he is our boss, twice our age, has a loving family miles away while she is a recent single mother who probably has some form of attachment to older men because she's been lacking a father figure for like two decades? Do these facts even matter? I mean, it leaves me all bugged eyed since everything happened so fast; to think I rarely go to office nowadays, but could still see the development of more inappropriate touches and smiles they shoot each other. Obviously, I'm not the only one running with the same line of thinking and I'm not all loath to say that I'd rather stay away from them lest the problem balloons into some form of scandal. I doubt that kind of story would dissipate from the department easily when there are tons of wolfish civilian employees straying around the very department we are in just waiting for the right gossips to pounce on. I'm not sure if there's even a good thing out of the fact that he's going abroad by July and she's going to linger in the department either with her reputation festering or her pride breaking down first in another five months or so.

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I've never been fond of Subic and that might as well be cemented with the fact that the beach resort we went to was pathetic to the highest degree a summer vacation could offer. The shore length itself is shorter than 500 metres, and the atrocious proximity the shore has with the cottages could make you sit there in the shade and pray for the day to be over. The additional sight of ship factories across the horizon invalidates the idea of a rather clean sea water to rave about. With the shower room at its tackiest, and if it weren't for the fact that I was beyond sweating bullets I would've skipped a dip in the waters.

I was also forced to go to Zoobic Safari where they had boasted of the tiger safari and sky high ticket prices. The two hour and half trip was a waste of time and money, at least for me. It's never meant to be an entertainment for adults. All I could think of was pity for the confined animals and the notable heat of the afternoon. It had left most of us drained and irritated until dinner was served. The only boon I could think of from this outing was the Nike and Adidas factory outlet where I bought two shirts for just a grand. And also, the very disappointment I felt for that beach trip fired up a late summer beach escapade with my buddies preferably somewhere with better resort services and sights.

Anyway, I've been doing item analysis for like two weeks already and I'm pretty relieved to say I'm almost there. I've done the computation and I'm only waiting for the item discrimination and difficulty indices to determine if half of the craptastic items I was forced to examine were still salvageable. I rather hope not and the project members can complain at the injustice of it all for all I care.

Yvette just sent me a text telling me that she could spare me a treat by watching Salt at Rockwell. Better yet, I preferred a dinner treat since I'm pretty sure the bill's going to be more expensive than a single movie ticket. She agreed and hopefully she'll remember it before June ends. Speaking of June, I'm still not convinced it's barely two weeks to go before World Cup commences. I have yet to chat Anna and find a proper schedule and bar for us to celebrate some of the games; I'm still hoping we could see the opening ceremony before getting seats for the semis and final. I'm all for Spain, Germany and Netherlands here. It will be a cold day in hell before I can stand seeing USA in the finals.

Eat-eat-eat

Genius on Google's part. Everyone's having fun, and forgetting why they're doing research in the first place. Are you hooked already? I can't get past level 1 resulting in me baboon-shrieking since last night. Bugger.

Ground mouth

I don't think a month passes by without Smartbro fucking up its services in one form or another. This time around, it's the same old bogged down internet. The reason is either they're doing enhancement or the base station has technical problems, which could also be considered for the former. Couldn't the monotonous reasoning of those service representatives come up with better causes? As much as I would like to offer words of guidance in a primitive manner, being indurated for the nearly 3 years of service is practically ridiculous. It's not as if Globe is any better so it's pointless to consider switching to another ISP bearing the same troubles.

In other bleak news, an NGO surprisingly called me up after I had failed to get into the shortlist like a month or two ago. A pat on the back for Bolix's correct assumption about NGO's terribly slow recruitment process. Anyway, the recruiter on the line never failed to emphasize that I'm going to undergo a panel interview at an ungodly hour and am I pissing in my pants in fright already? A part of me is. Again, Bolix regaling me with his stint in an NGO where he not-so-kind-of-well-nearly botched up panel interview morphed into a Spanish Inquisition, has me up the wall for my upcoming one. With luck I got the chance to read the NGO's mission vision, and the job description of what I had applied for before the internet went down. Like what I'd said to Ate Gigi then, it's not as if I really paid attention to the job description before I clicked on 'apply'; I just had see if part of the requirement was being a psychology graduate and voila. Good thing my workload isn't that heavy at the moment. Beth's going to have her own version of panel interview tomorrow morning--a job position I particularly nudged in her direction. I was hoping to meet her at Makati but it's going to be impossible with the time difference between our interviews.

The preparation for item analysis is a slow acting disease. I had to plead with Beth to help me on sorting out 12000 entries before the item analysis proper could start. That's just for one branch alone. I still have 8000 entries to sort out until next week. Damn it all to hell.

Apparently, Keroppi has friends other than snail and white knot of cloth friends of his. I bought a spring notebook last night bearing 'Keroppi and Friends' design showing 6 other frogs of various colors and facial expressions. That green frog was my favourite Sanrio character when I was a kid. Hello Kitty was too feminine and the Little Twin Stars were literally fairies. I liked the color green, the idea of a smiling frog and a repetitive name so I settled for him.

Flow with the go

Reaching home never fails to drain the remaining energy I have for the day. I often stack up work-related plans after dinner with the strong assumption of finishing tasks. Then I lie down for a few minutes and my body's too exhausted to eat dinner let alone take a quick shower. I dropped by at the mall to buy a new notebook for my notes on the project. Using a steno pad drives me mad and I'm not too keen on using the left over filler notebooks at the office for note taking; just imagining it crumpled state in my bag makes me flinch bigtime.

Yesterday was spent visiting the testing centers. I had to ride with Sir A while the other team members rode separately. Technically, lunch had consisted of pansit and pizza (a weird but effective combination); the folks were happy chowing but I wasn't but then I was too lazy to protest that I want to eat something heavier than 2 slices of pizza and a small plateful of pansit. Sir A dragged us to Starbucks where I had to sulk with a bottled iced tea and a cloying cake. Eventually, we were done with the visits earlier than expected and we were off homebound. Sir A agreed to drop me at Philcoa against his way home to Katipunan. So a big thanks to him. Oh and my boss and I managed to live with each other for nearly a day without resulting to too much awkward moments; chatting and socking the project and the people part of it most likely helped. Good to know I'm not the only one seeing the absolute shortcomings of the personnel involved.

I'll start foraging for the details of a spreadsheet containing 4000 entries that needs to be sorted out before item analysis can proceed. I've asked Beth again for help--something I'm relying way too much, I should never have nicked that 200 bucks from her--so here's to hoping we can finish the checking by tomorrow afternoon.

Football update: David Villa transfers to Barcelona for 40 million, and half the Madridista population wails at the unfair situation. A year ago, my love was a hairline's close to signing up for Real Madrid but Perez decided he was more interested in Kaka and Cristiano Ronaldo so there goes my dream. Adam mentioned he would've sacrificed Higuain for Villa, and I can partially say I'd be open to that deal if I get my head around the fact of a heavy duty compromise. I think I'm going to grieve for Villa's loss to the other side once I see him bearing that godforsaken shirt. Oh yeah, pure fluke that I got the latest Real Madrid shirt at an ukay-ukay this weekend. It's pretty big for my frame so it's going to settle in my cabinet for the rest of its remaining days. And yes, I kissed the crest.

Heave-ho

I can't recall when and how I banged up my right knee until I felt this dull ache in my joint every time I move. And that's going to be a big blow to my movements since I'm too hyper to sit in one place and ponder over the philosophical bearings of today.

Anyway I'm all to blame for forgetting that today's the 15th of May, and Richard and the gang were suppose to meet up at Quiapo and feast upon Mamonluk. Unfortunately, I'm stuck at home with dysmenorrhea. Having a period will only deter my energy from enjoying the night so I'd rather not even if I'm the one who initiated the idea. Bolix texted me earlier; apparently, they're going to a comedy bar and I can always catch up with them. I'd love to, but my monthly nature calls so bah.

I'm stuck at home so it's either off to bed early on a Saturday or haul my movie downloads and watch something decent. I still have like four films in my folder though my current condition barely gives me the push to even click on VLC. What gives?

On another hand, I thought I had lost my wallet last Friday. I realized it when I was about to go home already. My brain panicked faster than logic, and I was left sobbing and mildly wailing about the suffering I have to go through again just to get my IDs and cards. Then I got home and turned my bedroom upside down and saw the blasted thing under my freaking bed. Wasted tears and hormonal upheaval for nothing.

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Manga talk first. Kitakami Ren's works are one of the first ever yaoi manga I laid eyes upon. She has a way of making her manga--which has a limited panel and story line--achieve more depth than other novels I read. Unfortunately for me her works are already licensed so I'm stuck with scouring the net for free downloads. Best one of Kitakami would be Honenuki ni Saretai with Hoshina and Atsushi; the latter I can recall washed the rice with dishwashing liquid haha. He was that incompetent but totally lovable and adorable and all kinds of fluffy adjectives which made him a totally awesome seme for uptight Hoshina.

Yes, more

I could give my first child to my brain for having a golden sense of finding a WOWOW live stream. Found one and forfeited sleep in celebration despite the continuous Japanese films I've been watching with half a neuron for the past hours. Also, I have to hand out my shit thanks to Smartbro too for having a absofuckinglutely fast net connection; so fast I couldn't watch a decent stream when it's not in the dead of the night or the dead of the day.

As much as my college buds would know from a barely there memory, I have a deep seated addiction to anything WOWOW produces because they make life easier. Now I have to practise my hiragana, katakana and basic kanji again for the sake of reading Jap subs and the scheduled programs. Jeez, I could still recall vividly such agony I had to go through writing a goodbye post when WOWOW was cut off the air by MTRCB,which for the benefit of my restless soul I haven't forgiven them yet.

Fuck, it's been so long since I've seen Little Britain. I'm absolutely having an orgasm at the moment because this is what makes breathing polluted air a tad more endurable. I'm out of this crap post, I have to do some boot licking with LB. HBO you're a godsend when you're not being an arse eater.

Well, a little bit more and I might catch on Real Madrid's game against Bilbao.

Doordie

There's the thing about accepting failure and holding on the belief of reviving a slaughtered test to its once shining glory. It's called being hypocritical all the same for condoning an item analysis on a wholly compromised test, and not giving in to the fact that item construction has technically more advantage. Look where it has gotten you: unexpected surprises, dismal situations, slow processing of data and needless effort on behalf of the project, and the race against the funds and time. You can expect miracles tantamount to derangement in institutions as monstrous and venal as this; I cannot wait for June to start.

In relation to my upcoming unemployment, I'm torn between the idea of enjoying loitering hours at home and pushing through with my grad school studies, which obviously shall require other than the determination and indubitable effort in processing requirements.

Anyway, going to meet up with college buds tomorrow for a round of escapism with karaoke. That's going to be a marketable theme throughout this weekend and not to mention on Monday. Heaven help the pubs that day; as for me, that calls for a WOWOW marathon.

Squeezed dry

I can't seriously take this anymore. I'm a step away from sobbing my uterus out for encoding this forsaken answer sheets. It's beyond the necessary bounds of futility to even pinpoint why more of my countrymen are better as Neanderthal models than the civilized population we should be. Just the idea of not following basic instruction such as "encircle the answer of your choice" would make my blood curdle with more chemical reactions a LHC could ever anticipate of. And everyone questions if our country has a future left. What kind of future are we even talking about? The idea of having another tomorrow where we live in the same quotidian aspect as what has been dictated in the majority of our living, or the bleak future of improvement and productive changes by blowing off trashes the country could live without? It makes me sick to the basest level that even in the structure of the workplace I'm suffering the same situation that eventually compounded the overall perception of indecisive and deceived posterity.

Anyway, I seem to assume so surely of myself that I could finish the remaining 34 answer sheets stacked at home; add to that the 50 something I brought from the office. Pathetically ambitious of me.

At this point of the month, it would not be beyond absurd insinuations that I won't get my paycheck on time. Getting it on time would give me a seizure at any rate. I'm neck deep in my capacity to produce enough financial sustenance to last me this entire week. No one could fucking blame me for hitting on officers who swim in the sea of luxury to spare me a snack or two. It's times like this I wish there's a McDo or KFC a walking distance away from our division.

Where joys never end

Long overdue post. I can't even recall the date I wrote this, but might as well post it because it would be a drag to dump my opinion about Shutter Island.

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It was a good impulsive thing of me to go online early this morning when I got home because the net's down since morning. By the way, fuck you Smartbro. Same goes to you, Gateway. I swear, the mall's ticket prices will kill me one of these days. It's not like I haven't had the catastrophic experience with the mall before. It turns out my grudge wasn't demented enough to constantly remind me how much bullshit Gateway is brewing with their tacky excuse for architecture and limited number of restaurants.

Anyway, Shutter Island gained too much hoopla from my friends and the net for the past days so I got determined to see it too. And perhaps gain the same adoration they've had because it's been so long since I've seen a Scorsese film too; not bad at all that Ben Kingsley was in the film also. And not to kill amazement from the plot, but it really did not work for me. Maybe it was my overzealous analysis that Teddy was suffering from hallucinations because of withdrawal from his alcoholism, or because I had serious doubts from the first aspirin Dr. Cawley gave. It might be that I'm used to the mental asylum and generalized psychological plot it had that the ultimate mindfuck was just a climax and not so much as a gaining a surprising impact. I find the dream sequence indistinct although the idea of it being a nightmare can partially justify that. Leonardo DiCaprio's characterization was really beyond what I could ever hope for. He looked so out of his mind from his neurosis and paranoia from the first scene of the film until the end. I doubt he had a real good sleep over the burden of his character. Ben Kinglsey and Max von Sydow were perfect in their their imperious characters as psychiatrists. I'd especially love to have von Sydow as a professor, I bet that would be a highly educational immersion in insanity.

Thematic appreciation

Cautious, subtle, canned

Because genius is beyond words.

Gate is down

It doesn't take a course in rocket science to appreciate the beauty of Ender's Game. It appealed to my perverted imagination how the plot efficiently portrayed a belief in being the master of your own self. I didn't have the time to pity or favor Ender in his plight of denial and futile submission into how he was shaped. The battle school--Card's sole idea that sprouted Ender's Game--reminded me of its parallelism with Lord of the Flies and Battle Royale although Card came up with the thought from Asimov. And honestly, a book has never been this exhilaratingly crafted and magnificent since... probably One Hundred Years of Solitude. I had to drop by at McDonald's near our house to finish the last few pages of the story,  and tackle the introduction because postponing it to morning would be an unforgivable act. Even if it was past one in the morning. So thanks a big bunch to Richard for extending the loan of the book. I really was pressured (haha) to finish it before weekend, but surprisingly the book ran me through easily. It's pretty safe to say that folks who have inclination for anime and manga would totally dig this book. Mind you, Ender's no Heero Yuy or Ikari Shinji but the afflicted denominator lies in them being forced into adulthood at a too young age.

Reunion with French classmates was pretty much a success minus Sherwin who was bedraggled by meetings so late in the night. We tried Mr. Rockefeller at Greenbelt (because they had to make me run from Shangri-la to Makati) with our eyes squinting for the steep prices. It's pretty justified though, the side dishes were brilliant though their pomodoro was a bath away from being pansit palabok. No one's going to beat Cafe Mediterranean for their lamb dishes though. There's a plan for another reunion this time with the goal of leaving our pockets more intact by picking Ma Mon Luk at Quiapo. Sherwin will have to do the honors of the bill haha. Hopefully it will push though or I'll have to drag Beth next week to try the food and buy DVDs.

To my hedonistic school, especially the registrar, if it would be possible to be more responsible in your transactions, hordes of people would appreciate it. Who in their right, sane thinking would assume I did not pass my request letter when they themselves gave me the 7-day turn around time to process it? And don't start with the price of that goddamned honorable dismissal because heaven fucking knows I'll dismiss you all right when don't find that piece of paper.